Even though some of the songs are actually depressing, I am happy to be able to break out of other people's boxes and labels to have an accepted realness of myself:
Some are still broken records:
I really like the original video better, but unfortunately, I am unable to post it because the website will not allow it. But, there is another video anyway.
Blindness
Gold Gun Girls
Songs that make me laugh
I mean a serious witch laugh:
But, really, this is a happy song that really is heartfelt when I want to think happy thoughts:
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Still havn't given up on dreams
I have crushes and attractions from time to time.
I am very attracted to another band's passion, endurance, and romance of course ;)
While chilling around the house today, I listened to some music while knitting. I have always liked alternative music and have even heard of My Chemical Romance before. But today, they are more in tune with where I am in life right now. It isn't action that is presently directed at me. The songs were made years ago, but it matches my spirit right now and it is another rock band that I am grateful for:
I also like the "Black Parade," along with this song, but I like this song the most of their music.
My thoughts are that a lot of people in my class of wealth are probably depressed like me. It is hard to believe that there are troopers as in this band who enduringly march out with their passion. I love to see the aftermath when a person may have been attacked or even been attacked in the cruelest way that nobody has still got the best of them.
I think it grows more rare, while the rich get richer and the poor get poorer, that middle class or poor people continue to hang onto their passions and things that matter to them.
That is why this music is so inspirational to me and I feel excited for the both of us even though I don't really know the members of the band.
It is a song that I think should be in environments of depressed or suicidal people. It is a song that reminds other people that not everyone has committed suicide over tragedy or hardship. I'm so attracted to their passion.
Of course there is the loving romance as well. Again, something I dream about for a man to endure in his confidence and passion. It inspires me to stay preserved and continue to wait it out for the right man who cares enough to vulnerably scream his heart out.
Maybe there are men in my life who may care enough, but I am waiting for an opportune time where I am the one that makes the choice of acknowledging that I feel the love and/or passion.
Until then, I remain spontaneous and open to possibilities.
I continue to remain dilligent in my own goals and try not to worry too much over anything.
In the black parade, I like his lyrics with how guarded his heart his. He understands and knows what it means to have a soul when he blasts out "You'll never take my heart." With the lyrics I'm bothered of probable obsessed assumptions that I have an obsession with my dad by liking the song. I don't think my dad is completely rotten to the core. He has taught values while growing up. I'm not going to disclose the bad in this blog or time for now.
The lead singer throws a fit like I do. He is lucky to be presented so seriously.
Favorite lines:
Do or die, you'll never make me
Because the world will never take my heart
Go and try, you'll never break me
We want it all, we wanna play this part
I won't explain or say I'm sorry
I'm unashamed, I'm gonna show my scar
Give a cheer for all the broken
Listen here, because it's who we are
I'm just a man, I'm not a hero
Just a boy, who had to sing this song
I'm just a man, I'm not a hero
I! don't! care!
I am very attracted to another band's passion, endurance, and romance of course ;)
While chilling around the house today, I listened to some music while knitting. I have always liked alternative music and have even heard of My Chemical Romance before. But today, they are more in tune with where I am in life right now. It isn't action that is presently directed at me. The songs were made years ago, but it matches my spirit right now and it is another rock band that I am grateful for:
I also like the "Black Parade," along with this song, but I like this song the most of their music.
My thoughts are that a lot of people in my class of wealth are probably depressed like me. It is hard to believe that there are troopers as in this band who enduringly march out with their passion. I love to see the aftermath when a person may have been attacked or even been attacked in the cruelest way that nobody has still got the best of them.
I think it grows more rare, while the rich get richer and the poor get poorer, that middle class or poor people continue to hang onto their passions and things that matter to them.
That is why this music is so inspirational to me and I feel excited for the both of us even though I don't really know the members of the band.
It is a song that I think should be in environments of depressed or suicidal people. It is a song that reminds other people that not everyone has committed suicide over tragedy or hardship. I'm so attracted to their passion.
Of course there is the loving romance as well. Again, something I dream about for a man to endure in his confidence and passion. It inspires me to stay preserved and continue to wait it out for the right man who cares enough to vulnerably scream his heart out.
Maybe there are men in my life who may care enough, but I am waiting for an opportune time where I am the one that makes the choice of acknowledging that I feel the love and/or passion.
Until then, I remain spontaneous and open to possibilities.
I continue to remain dilligent in my own goals and try not to worry too much over anything.
In the black parade, I like his lyrics with how guarded his heart his. He understands and knows what it means to have a soul when he blasts out "You'll never take my heart." With the lyrics I'm bothered of probable obsessed assumptions that I have an obsession with my dad by liking the song. I don't think my dad is completely rotten to the core. He has taught values while growing up. I'm not going to disclose the bad in this blog or time for now.
The lead singer throws a fit like I do. He is lucky to be presented so seriously.
Favorite lines:
Do or die, you'll never make me
Because the world will never take my heart
Go and try, you'll never break me
We want it all, we wanna play this part
I won't explain or say I'm sorry
I'm unashamed, I'm gonna show my scar
Give a cheer for all the broken
Listen here, because it's who we are
I'm just a man, I'm not a hero
Just a boy, who had to sing this song
I'm just a man, I'm not a hero
I! don't! care!
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
What hell
God, I hate my life.
I'm assuming that right now, my past work experience is probably being examined through a microscope.
I really do not care what people say, I still label myself as an unliked cunt that suffers from chaos and unreasonableness. I think there are obsessed people who are relentless in calling me worthless that fail to see my reality for what it is. I think people are mad that I trust and like myself better, and that they do not get much satisfaction when they harass me to no end. Sure, they could have some adequate calls, but I still see an extreme imbalance of socialism as a whole.
I still suffer from bad judgement and people telling me how to live my life when it isn't relevant to work.
The National. This band reminds me of my pastor that used to be at the church I went to before I moved to Oklahoma. I really do not want to get involved in any religious groups, but him and his family are people I would not mind hearing from when I see matrix people. Maybe he has some more truth and/or confirmation to give. I would want them to have a good protected well-being, but like I said, I don't want any religious conversation. I appreciate him to this day, because even though I am not religious, he was intelligent and balanced enough to see authoritarianism and spanish inquisitions although he wasn't very verbal. He spoke a lot of preachings against condemnation and was in favor of freedom, grace, and acceptance.
I think his cat might have been at one of my workplaces that I passed through quickly. It was not specifically to his offense, but I did feel a slight possessive vibe from him that was included from the overall possessive and slaving management he worked among.
I ran into a guy that I went on a couple of dates with a couple of years ago. My final impression is a more believed idea of relationships and communism. He tried to call me a hooker just because I went on a date with him.
He invited me.
He payed for dinner.
I was not interested in him, and he called me a hooker and said I used him for a free meal.
I elaborate on my communisitic idea of relationships where it seems as if "status," is only judged by people that people are in relationships with and what is said about them. He had an issue that I was not interested in him, he wanted to paint the picture where I am the one with the problem because I am a "hooker." He really is good looking. There is just something about him that I didn't like.
I can see how people would want to call me a hooker now concerning the media and tv, but I really don't care. I've been ignored and used too much, if I'm going to suffer, I don't care if I'm seen as the world's biggest asshole.
Even though I get livid at being told what to do or criticised for being myself, I will probably watch the shows anyway to keep up to an extent with some info.
Crafts crafts crafts. This thought isn't room for people to tell me what to do, I'm just thinking out loud. I'm making mistakes and learning in this area as well. I have experienced times before that I have made a lot of time and effort in a craft project. I experimented with a new material last night in making mosaics. It turns out that my original clay is a better material than this new plaster I am using. What a wasted project. Had the plaster been better, it would have looked nice. I'm still going to take the time to save some money by cleaning off all of the beads to make the same mosaic with the original clay. Since I cannot yet find another clay, I think I'm going to have to experiment with a different sealant. The sealant I use now really isn't that bad, but it is still slighty gluelike after my work has been out for weeks to airdry.
I'm assuming that right now, my past work experience is probably being examined through a microscope.
I really do not care what people say, I still label myself as an unliked cunt that suffers from chaos and unreasonableness. I think there are obsessed people who are relentless in calling me worthless that fail to see my reality for what it is. I think people are mad that I trust and like myself better, and that they do not get much satisfaction when they harass me to no end. Sure, they could have some adequate calls, but I still see an extreme imbalance of socialism as a whole.
I still suffer from bad judgement and people telling me how to live my life when it isn't relevant to work.
The National. This band reminds me of my pastor that used to be at the church I went to before I moved to Oklahoma. I really do not want to get involved in any religious groups, but him and his family are people I would not mind hearing from when I see matrix people. Maybe he has some more truth and/or confirmation to give. I would want them to have a good protected well-being, but like I said, I don't want any religious conversation. I appreciate him to this day, because even though I am not religious, he was intelligent and balanced enough to see authoritarianism and spanish inquisitions although he wasn't very verbal. He spoke a lot of preachings against condemnation and was in favor of freedom, grace, and acceptance.
I think his cat might have been at one of my workplaces that I passed through quickly. It was not specifically to his offense, but I did feel a slight possessive vibe from him that was included from the overall possessive and slaving management he worked among.
I ran into a guy that I went on a couple of dates with a couple of years ago. My final impression is a more believed idea of relationships and communism. He tried to call me a hooker just because I went on a date with him.
He invited me.
He payed for dinner.
I was not interested in him, and he called me a hooker and said I used him for a free meal.
I elaborate on my communisitic idea of relationships where it seems as if "status," is only judged by people that people are in relationships with and what is said about them. He had an issue that I was not interested in him, he wanted to paint the picture where I am the one with the problem because I am a "hooker." He really is good looking. There is just something about him that I didn't like.
I can see how people would want to call me a hooker now concerning the media and tv, but I really don't care. I've been ignored and used too much, if I'm going to suffer, I don't care if I'm seen as the world's biggest asshole.
Even though I get livid at being told what to do or criticised for being myself, I will probably watch the shows anyway to keep up to an extent with some info.
Crafts crafts crafts. This thought isn't room for people to tell me what to do, I'm just thinking out loud. I'm making mistakes and learning in this area as well. I have experienced times before that I have made a lot of time and effort in a craft project. I experimented with a new material last night in making mosaics. It turns out that my original clay is a better material than this new plaster I am using. What a wasted project. Had the plaster been better, it would have looked nice. I'm still going to take the time to save some money by cleaning off all of the beads to make the same mosaic with the original clay. Since I cannot yet find another clay, I think I'm going to have to experiment with a different sealant. The sealant I use now really isn't that bad, but it is still slighty gluelike after my work has been out for weeks to airdry.
Friday, October 22, 2010
~chirp~tweet~
I thought the CNN video blog was interesting and comical. I really don't know how to take many people these days. Sometimes I second guess with taking someone serious or in humor. But, I loved thinking about the space idea.
I have made some jokes and even art about space, but for someone to accurately take me seriously with the space issue is something that is debatable.
It brings the question of the fact of "settling." Some people know what settling means more than what they think. It is a cause of a lot of wars afterall.
Things are not looking good and to especially have to hear extremism like that from the people who have taught me themselves. They were the ones who enlightened me with a sense of reasonable balance. I really did use to be a very religious and spiritual person. That school brought so much sense into my world concerning faith and living in the real world.
I think it is sad that some wars and battles go so far concerning religions and faith, but of all of the people I would look up to the most when it comes to having a reasonable and balanced perspective, it would be the leaders at ORU.
I hate to feel like my life is on the line for what I believe in and for my faith. I hate that the unbalanced and thoughtless leaders are the ones who are relentless in trying to prove they are entitled to anything and everything they want. I hate the blame game, and I don't want to make a bigger battle over it than what it already is, but I do blame the irrational, disrespectful, and extremely entitled in this instance. Even a person who is a Christian can still fall under the irrational and disrespectful category.
I know I have been disrespectful myself, but my disrespect goes to the people I feel are cheaters and irrational. People should be respected for who they individually are. And in that, their boundaries should be respected. I think the idea of subjects and servants and prisoners !(and only "prisoners" for the reason that they refused to be enslaved and controlled by others)! should be completely erased.
I can see how some drama can be devastating. I see how some drama can ruin relationships as a whole. At the same time, I still like the idea of being a libertarian. Why must a person exactly "fit in" with a group? Why can't people decide for themselves and communicate to others how much some passion means and whether or not they are passionate at all? After that, why can't it be respected? If it can't be respected, why can't people make effort to resolve differences, separate, or find some sort of solution?
I think it is lazy when people don't put enough effort and choose either suffering or warring against another. I also think it is wrong and selfish that if the issue is not resolved to hold on to the person. People need to let go when it is established that things will not be resolved. People need to stop slaving others around and be possessive and act like the other person is at their "mercy."
There is always a rightful time and place for some justice and law. But there are other times when I do not think some drama should be blown out of proportion. Then goes the cliched saying ~All is fair in love and war~ huff.
I have made some jokes and even art about space, but for someone to accurately take me seriously with the space issue is something that is debatable.
It brings the question of the fact of "settling." Some people know what settling means more than what they think. It is a cause of a lot of wars afterall.
Things are not looking good and to especially have to hear extremism like that from the people who have taught me themselves. They were the ones who enlightened me with a sense of reasonable balance. I really did use to be a very religious and spiritual person. That school brought so much sense into my world concerning faith and living in the real world.
I think it is sad that some wars and battles go so far concerning religions and faith, but of all of the people I would look up to the most when it comes to having a reasonable and balanced perspective, it would be the leaders at ORU.
I hate to feel like my life is on the line for what I believe in and for my faith. I hate that the unbalanced and thoughtless leaders are the ones who are relentless in trying to prove they are entitled to anything and everything they want. I hate the blame game, and I don't want to make a bigger battle over it than what it already is, but I do blame the irrational, disrespectful, and extremely entitled in this instance. Even a person who is a Christian can still fall under the irrational and disrespectful category.
I know I have been disrespectful myself, but my disrespect goes to the people I feel are cheaters and irrational. People should be respected for who they individually are. And in that, their boundaries should be respected. I think the idea of subjects and servants and prisoners !(and only "prisoners" for the reason that they refused to be enslaved and controlled by others)! should be completely erased.
I can see how some drama can be devastating. I see how some drama can ruin relationships as a whole. At the same time, I still like the idea of being a libertarian. Why must a person exactly "fit in" with a group? Why can't people decide for themselves and communicate to others how much some passion means and whether or not they are passionate at all? After that, why can't it be respected? If it can't be respected, why can't people make effort to resolve differences, separate, or find some sort of solution?
I think it is lazy when people don't put enough effort and choose either suffering or warring against another. I also think it is wrong and selfish that if the issue is not resolved to hold on to the person. People need to let go when it is established that things will not be resolved. People need to stop slaving others around and be possessive and act like the other person is at their "mercy."
There is always a rightful time and place for some justice and law. But there are other times when I do not think some drama should be blown out of proportion. Then goes the cliched saying ~All is fair in love and war~ huff.
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