What hell

God, I hate my life.

I'm assuming that right now, my past work experience is probably being examined through a microscope.
I really do not care what people say, I still label myself as an unliked cunt that suffers from chaos and unreasonableness. I think there are obsessed people who are relentless in calling me worthless that fail to see my reality for what it is. I think people are mad that I trust and like myself better, and that they do not get much satisfaction when they harass me to no end. Sure, they could have some adequate calls, but I still see an extreme imbalance of socialism as a whole.
I still suffer from bad judgement and people telling me how to live my life when it isn't relevant to work.

The National. This band reminds me of my pastor that used to be at the church I went to before I moved to Oklahoma. I really do not want to get involved in any religious groups, but him and his family are people I would not mind hearing from when I see matrix people. Maybe he has some more truth and/or confirmation to give. I would want them to have a good protected well-being, but like I said, I don't want any religious conversation. I appreciate him to this day, because even though I am not religious, he was intelligent and balanced enough to see authoritarianism and spanish inquisitions although he wasn't very verbal. He spoke a lot of preachings against condemnation and was in favor of freedom, grace, and acceptance.
I think his cat might have been at one of my workplaces that I passed through quickly. It was not specifically to his offense, but I did feel a slight possessive vibe from him that was included from the overall possessive and slaving management he worked among.

I ran into a guy that I went on a couple of dates with a couple of years ago. My final impression is a more believed idea of relationships and communism. He tried to call me a hooker just because I went on a date with him.
He invited me.
He payed for dinner.
I was not interested in him, and he called me a hooker and said I used him for a free meal.
I elaborate on my communisitic idea of relationships where it seems as if "status," is only judged by people that people are in relationships with and what is said about them. He had an issue that I was not interested in him, he wanted to paint the picture where I am the one with the problem because I am a "hooker." He really is good looking. There is just something about him that I didn't like.

I can see how people would want to call me a hooker now concerning the media and tv, but I really don't care. I've been ignored and used too much, if I'm going to suffer, I don't care if I'm seen as the world's biggest asshole.

Even though I get livid at being told what to do or criticised for being myself, I will probably watch the shows anyway to keep up to an extent with some info.

Crafts crafts crafts. This thought isn't room for people to tell me what to do, I'm just thinking out loud. I'm making mistakes and learning in this area as well. I have experienced times before that I have made a lot of time and effort in a craft project. I experimented with a new material last night in making mosaics. It turns out that my original clay is a better material than this new plaster I am using. What a wasted project. Had the plaster been better, it would have looked nice. I'm still going to take the time to save some money by cleaning off all of the beads to make the same mosaic with the original clay. Since I cannot yet find another clay, I think I'm going to have to experiment with a different sealant. The sealant I use now really isn't that bad, but it is still slighty gluelike after my work has been out for weeks to airdry.